Britons deported in language spoof

Satirical article claims 95% would be sent home from Spain for failing to learn enough to order ‘two beers’

AS DAVID Cameron announces plans for language tests for immigrants to the UK, a spoof news story has said that 95% of Britons in Spain would be deported if it brought in similar rules.

The site, thelondoneconomic.com, drew thousands of hits on social media networks after it published a satirical article saying that “countries across the world demanded UK expats had to speak the language of their chosen country, or they had to leave…and most failed”.

It joked that most Britons in Spain would not know the Spanish for “Two Beers” “Please” “No” “Yes” or “Do you have real brown sauce?”

France has language tests, but only for immigrants from outside the EU, or people wanting to take French nationality.

The one for nationality is considerably more difficult than the jokey “two beers” one but does not involve any written question and answer section - only a 30minute oral understanding test and a 12minute speaking test. Non EU immigrants are tested in speaking and writing as part of an interview when they apply for residency.

The London Economic spoof came after Mr Cameron said the UK would deport people who arrive in Britain to marry if they fail to make progress in learning English.

Speaking on BBC Radio 4, the prime minister said that in Britain “learning English is essential”. He added: “If you don't speak the language your opportunities are very much reduced.”

At present UK language tests require that people have a basic command of English (speaking and listening). This level, that if learning from scratch, would need about 40 to 50 hours’ tuition. This means understanding and using simple, everyday expressions and very simple phrases. There is no test for reading and writing.