Funeral choices

Religious funerals

Religious ceremonies are still the most common choice of funeral in France despite the country’s strong secular tradition and the fact many people are not churchgoers. In some cases this is out of tradition, or it is so as to respect the wishes of the deceased.

In the case of a church funeral you should speak to the priest of the deceased’s church or other religious official depending on the religion.

They are the point of contact for the ceremony, though the funeral directors will take charge of the actual burial or cremation at the end of it.

Traditionally in a religious funeral the priest or another member of the church team will accompany the body to the cemetery and say a prayer at the graveside, although this is no longer always the case.

The Catholic Church removed its ban on cremation in 1963 – and still ‘recommends’ burial.

Nonetheless a 2018 Ipsos study found 68% of French people would opt for cremation, compared to 53% in 2008.

If selecting a Catholic funeral you should contact the priest as soon as possible, as he will need to reflect on the deceased’s life and family so as to consider how best to plan an appropriate ceremony. As with other forms of funeral you also need to discuss your wish for a religious ceremony with the funeral director.

For a Briton – even non-Anglicans – one option is to have it carried out by one of the Anglican churches in France.

You may need to show the funeral director the website of the nearest church if they are not proactive in helping.

Often an Anglican funeral service will not take place in an Anglican church, which are widely spread out around France, but instead a priest will travel to hold a service at a crematorium chapel or other location such as a Catholic church.

Availability may depend on the priest’s diary, how far he or she would have to travel and whether the deceased was a churchgoer.

There are no fixed rules on the price.

Alternative funerals

While religious ceremonies are still the most popular choice, 38% of people in a study of 15,000 by comparison website Meilleures Pompes Funèbres said they would prefer a civil service.

Any undertaker’s firm should be familiar with helping organise non-religious ceremonies.

Some undertaker’s firms will have English-speaking staff but if not, then they should still seek to meet your needs, if necessary, with an interpreter.

For non-religious ceremonies, family and friends often organise their own homage, with music, readings and talks, eg. in a room at the undertaker’s or crematorium, however it is also possible to organise a ceremony in other locations such as someone’s home or at the funeral director’s premises.

If you want a specialist to lead it take advice from the undertakers or do an internet search with terms like maître de cérémonie funéraire and cérémonie laïque or civile.

There are a few ‘celebrants’ in France offering English-speaking ceremonies, such as Elizabeth Lyn de Ver or Lisa Lister who describes herself as living between the UK and France, offering ‘civil’ ceremonies that can include any elements people ask for, including religious touches if they wish.

She trained with a UK body, Civil Ceremonies Ltd. One humanist celebrant said that, after talking to the deceased’s family and friends, he can create a sympathetic ceremony with two to three days’ notice. 

He aims “to give a recognisable portrait of the deceased, and to provide a ceremony which is dignified, warm and memorable”. He said he charges a fixed fee, plus expenses.

Another service you might consider is live music for your ceremony, for example Elicci is a network of around 250 professional musicians and provides instrumentalists and singers to play classical, jazz or gospel music, either from their own repertoire or music of your choice.

They say they can work at very short notice if required. It costs from €380 depending on the number of musicians involved.

...and alternative burials

The idea of a green funeral, or obsèques écologiques, has been slower to get off the ground in France than in some neighbouring countries and being buried in the open ground and having a tree planted on top would not be allowed (both for cremation and burial a coffin is obligatory).

However, there are places that offer similar concepts, for example allowing for a person’s ashes to be dispersed among the roots of a special tree planted for them.

A Spanish brand called urne Bios offers a biodegradable urn with a tree seed in it, so a tree grows directly out of the place where you bury it.

It states that options in France include burying the urn on council-owned land, if you ask permission from the mairie, or in a designated cimetière naturel or bois funéraire. 

Another term you may see is cimetière vert. It suggests an internet search to see if such a site exists locally.

The mairie of Niort opened a ‘natural’ cemetery a few years ago, where there are trees and grass instead of rows of tombs. You can scatter the ashes, or bury a biodegradable urn or coffin. 

Artificial flowers are not allowed. The project won a ‘best local initiative’ award from the Senate.

Others such sites have opened since in locations including the cimetière Saint Augutre, Dordogne; in Ivry-sur-Seine, Val-de-Marne; Aytré and La Rochelle, Charente-Maritime; and Plaisance, Vienne.

Funeral firms are also starting to offer greener options such as a cardboard coffin (cercueil en carton) or other models of coffin (or urn) which contain fewer harmful substances and biodegrade more quickly than traditional models. One large funeral chain offers cercueils nature, which are said to be treated with fewer chemicals than usual.

One firm of Paris undertakers, Advitam, offers coffins made out of recycled wood saying they are also cheaper than traditional coffins, and use much less wood.

A tombe végétalisée – a grave plot planted out with plants like a mini garden – rather than the traditional austere appearance is another idea.

If any of the above are of interest you could investigate options in your area and speak to local funeral directors about your wishes for a funeral that respects the environment.