How slowing down makes you love life in France

My husband Peter and I were both born and brought up in large UK towns or cities: I in Glasgow, and Peter in Bedford.

Certainly, when I was young, the idea of living in a place with a much slower pace of life would have been anathema. In my mind, a village meant overwhelming boredom. 

I enjoyed buzzing urban life with lots of people milling around, noise, hustle and bustle and plenty of activities to engage in.

Peter swore he would never live in a village. Then life happened; we changed psychologically and emotionally, and now, some 18 months later, here we are living the life of Riley in a beautiful village in Provence. 

France is frequently associated with a slower and more deliberate pace of life. This can work like a charm if you are prepared for it. 

Others, however, may have trouble adapting to it and, indeed, find it very challenging.

The French believe in making the most of their time. Mealtimes are one such example. Here you sit down and savour your meal as if it were a ritual. 

You do not sit in your car gobbling down a sandwich at top speed.

When Peter worked in Paris in the early 1990s, he used to skip lunch and go for a daily swim. It soon became obvious to him that this was frowned upon and that he was expected to déjeuner with his colleagues, rather than absent himself. 

Social differences

The French love their social interactions. Saying bonjour to people you meet is seen as a mark of respect and courtesy.

I know that this does not sit well with some foreigners in France, because it can feel so forced. However, the benefits of slowing down and engaging in this practice will reap rewards socially.

A reader recently wrote to me saying that they found l’art du bonjour awkward and inauthentic, and that they just did not want to do it.

Despite having visited France my entire life, at first I found it odd having to engage in the daily greeting. Then, the more I practised it, the more I realised that I was actually enjoying it.

I got to the point where I even became irritated if I said it, and the other person did not respond in kind.

These days, I do not see it as a burdensome waste of time but as another mechanism for integrating into French life.

It is certainly, in my opinion, preferable to travelling on the London Tube for 22 years, surrounded by blank, maudlin faces, where you get the impression that if you dropped dead, people would merely step over you. 

Internal shifts

We live in an age where we feel we have to rush around doing everything at top speed. My late uncle, a successful philanthropist, devised a personal motto – DALPO SASPO. This stood for ‘Do all possible, as soon as possible’.

He packed plenty into his 90 years and made millions, but at the end of his life he expressed regret that he had never taken the time to stop and smell the roses, or to become a father.

He married at 80, because he said he had been too busy working and looking after everybody else before then.

It can be easy to believe there is only ever one chance in life to achieve something, but for most things this is a false assumption. Life is full of second, third and many more opportunities. 

Observe and be present

Yes, service in a village can be slower, and there can be far less choice. Tradespeople do not always show up, and you may have to travel further afield to meet any special requirements.

For me, the benefits far outweigh the perceived disadvantages. Instead of resisting these frustrations, it is far more beneficial to reframe such moments as opportunities to slow down, observe and be present. 

Ultimately, adapting to the slower pace of life in France is less about changing external circumstances and more about adjusting your internal tempo. It is an invitation to step out of constant urgency and into a more grounded, attentive way of living.

While the transition may take time, many find that it leads to a richer, calmer and more satisfying daily experience – one where life is not just managed, but genuinely enjoyed.

Tips for adjusting to a slower pace of life

• learn to be patient;

• improve your French and use it;

• adapt to the local rhythms;

• shift your mindset from top gear to meaningful engagement;

• stop comparing how it is in France to how it was in your country of origin;

• focus on daily pleasures.

Have you struggled to adapt to the slower pace of French life? Please email cynthia@connexionfrance.com and share your experiences.