What happens if elderly parent living with us in France survives us?
It is worth discussing this with other close family members who might be able to help if necessary
A notaire – English-speaking, if your mother’s French is not fluent – will be able to advise
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Reader question: My elderly mother lives with us. I worry what would happen if my husband and I were to die before her and she was left alone: how can we plan for that?
While the situation will probably never arise, it makes sense to plan ahead for peace of mind.
It is also worth discussing this with other close family members who might be able to help if necessary.
Locally, in France, a good notaire – English-speaking, if your mother’s French is not fluent – will be able to advise.
You can find English-speaking notaires in the notaires' directory.
With their help, and with your mother’s involvement if she is of sound mind, you could explore options such as a mandat de protection future; a document in which a person designates people who could take charge of their affairs if they become unable to look after themselves.
This could include both yourselves and others close to the family, or even a professional such as a notaire.
In the absence of such arrangements, and if necessary, a French court can step in with measures such as tutelle or curatelle, to order that an appropriate person take charge of a person’s affairs.
Your mairie should also be a good source of help. In the unfortunate event that this situation arose, staff could advise your mother about sources of support and benefits to which she may be entitled, as well as access to local retirement or nursing homes.
Larger communes will have a section called the centre communal d’action sociale which deals with matters such as this.
Many communes also have an information point for older people. See the directory at the website Pour les personnes âgées to locate one near you.
Other than retirement homes, other options for older people who struggle to live independently include résidences autonomie (where people live in their own flats but with various communal services at hand), or potentially accueil familial, where a family takes in an older person (with regulated payments and council oversight).
Additional help might come from sources including your national embassy in France (mostly for emergencies) or certain charities, such as the British Charitable Fund (for needy British citizens).
