Pig-fish and post drones for April 1

THE regional newspaper L’Indépendant stretched its readers’ credulity with a literal poisson d’Avril (April fool) joke about a half-trout/half pig being supposedly fished out of the Têt.

“It was really strong; I thought it was a carnivore, maybe a black bass,” fisherman Jean Bonnet was reported to have said, adding that the line broke as he pulled it out and the fish was found “with its nose buried in the earth as if it was looking for truffles”. The paper surmised it might have been due to GM maize being grown nearby.

At Connexion we aimed for a bit more subtlety with a story about Cheap French calls in Dover. We said freak weather conditions had caused residents of Kent to “become temporarily French as far as phone bills were concerned”, being charged roaming fees – while visitors from France had an unexpected freebie.

La Poste put out a statement, reported in Le Progrès that it was going to trial delivering mail using drones. In a homage to the pioneering passenger/post transatlantic service Aéropostale, it would be called “Air drone postal”, the company said.

France 24 claimed President Hollande had finally proposed to “First Girlfriend” Valérie Trierweiler – in true “normal” style - during a TV dinner in front of his favourite show The Voice. Angela Merkel will be one of the witnesses, they said. The gesture was said to be in solidarity with the “marriage for all” movement.

RTL said Sarkozy era minister Roselyne Bachelot was having a career change by becoming a Bond girl in the next 007 film. “They’ve decided it’s time to win over a new, more mature, audience,” the radio station said.

Other “poissons” included giant pandas being released in the Pyrenees (France 3) and Beckham allegedly having to take six weeks out due to a coccyx injury caused by a fall while looking for eggs (RTL.be).

Screen shot from www.lindependant.fr