How to deal with badly behaved grandchildren in France

I live in France with my second husband, who has two children – and now grandchildren – from his previous marriage in the US. The grandchildren are little ruffians who have absolutely no boundaries. They will be staying with us for two weeks later this year and I’m already embarrassed about taking them out, as French children seem so much better behaved. I also resent how they treat our house – last time they visited, they trashed it!

There are several ways you can attempt to tackle this. I suggest that you calmly tell your husband exactly how you feel.

This is your home and you have the right to insist people behave properly – or face the consequences.

If this is too inflammatory, you could email him in as kind a way as possible.

Probably the least disruptive course of action at this late stage is to draft some agreed, written boundaries and discuss these with your husband well before The Arrival.

Include mutually acceptable consequences for bad behaviour. You could also have ‘time out’ and go out to defuse the pressure.

Avoid comparisons

A few words of warning here: comparisons with French children are not entirely helpful.

I have witnessed some appalling brattish behaviour in France, and comparisons can prove to be antagonistic. Why pour oil on the fire by even alluding to it?

Yes, parenting in France does appear to be stricter, but you should never judge another person’s outsides by your insides!