'Dispute over garden boundary has caused tension between me and my neighbour'

Dear Cynth,

Yesterday, I had a visit from a neighbour to whom I had written regarding the overgrowth of weeds from his property onto mine. He did not address that, but instead took me to task for planting a rose hedge close to his boundary in 2014. 

The hedge reaches but doesn’t stray over his boundary, but his tape measure showed the roots did not meet French law relating to not planting within one metre of a boundary. 

I prune the hedge every autumn to keep the height down and to keep it within my boundary. When alive, his wife loved the perfume and took as many hips as she wanted for her conserves, so this was rather a shock for me. 

If necessary, I will replant the hedge and trust that he will then remove his weeds, as I am unable to reach them. But I do not want to do this, as the hedge may die. 

How can I maintain the status quo – and maybe even remain friends? PK

There are several possibilities that come to mind, regarding his lack of response to your letter and his going ‘on the attack’ about your rose hedge. I generally find that it is better to tackle problems face-to-face, rather than write a letter that could be perceived as being somewhat formal. 

Is he an elderly gentleman? Did his wife die recently? If the latter is the case, he may still be feeling raw and vulnerable after losing his partner. If you are able to speak French, perhaps you could knock on his door and invite him round for a coffee so that you can sit down and have a friendly chat. 

Read more: How to cope when the shine comes off your ‘perfect’ new life in France

If your French is not up to it, you could also invite a friend or a neighbour, but with his knowledge as he might perceive the presence of a stranger or third party as threatening. 

You can be direct and friendly with him, without backing down on what you would like to achieve. Rather than going ahead and replanting the hedge, in the hope that he will remove his weeds, I would suggest a compromise to him. 

What will work for both of you? 

The last thing you want is to fall out with him, or to have to contact the mairie and begin some sort of formal process. You could also speak to your other neighbours and ask if they have had any problems with him and, if so, ask how they resolved them. Bon courage!

Do you have a problem associated with living in France that is causing upset or worry? Our advice column can help. Write to: askcynth@connexionfrance.com.

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