Translating French for all my friends is getting me down
Protecting your time and preserving your energy is not selfish, says columnist Cynthia Spillman
It is ok to state that you were working for free and now need to charge
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Reader question: I have lived in France for 30 years now and am fluent in French. My problem is that I move in expat circles, in which many people do not speak French. Nor do they make the effort to learn.
It seems as if every single week people are asking me to translate and interpret for them. I did not mind at first, because I remember how uncomfortable it felt to move to France and not speak the language. But I did throw myself in at the deep end and learn, and this has paid dividends for me personally.
Now I am beginning to feel taken advantage of by the number of people who seem to expect me to just agree to help them, and it is eating up all of my free time. How can I set boundaries and reclaim my time?
Your inability to set boundaries has landed you in a pickle! Have you been a lifelong people-pleaser?
Protecting your time and preserving your energy is not selfish, it is self-caring. You deserve to spend your life doing whatever suits you, while obviously not stepping on others’ toes if you can possibly avoid it.
Decide what you will and will not do and assess each request. Is it a five-minute translation at the bank or a lengthy contractual document?
If you do not decide this in advance, you will default to saying ‘yes’ for the sake of politeness.
Slow down your ‘yes’. Pause and reflect. Buy yourself time. Ask if the matter is really urgent. This will demonstrate that you value your time and they should too. If it’s a ‘no’, you don’t have to justify why you have refused.
If you are asked to assist with a big project, you can say that you no longer take on such work.
It is not cheeky to state that you realised you were doing a lot of translation free of charge.
You could also explain that you have now reached a stage where you have so many requests, you must charge.
That may well reduce the demands! You can direct them to other local translating services.
It is a good idea to arm yourself with information about these in advance so they are on the tip of your tongue.
Remember, you matter. Your worth does not depend on bending yourself into a pretzel to obtain validation from others.
