One in three women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. But knowing how to access help, especially if you live in a foreign country where you may not speak the language, can be difficult.
Women for Women France, founded in 2018, provides expert, multilingual advice for foreign-born women through its online help centre, connecting victims to local partners who can help them.
It also implements practical changes through working with institutions such as the national police. Its online chat is now available in 135 languages and the government’s national helpline – 3919 – can now be accessed in 185 languages.
“When victims need help they should be able to access it no matter what their residency status, no matter what language they speak, no matter what their country of origin – we work to make the wider French system more accessible to foreign-born people,” said CEO Sarah McGrath.
And this help is needed. Women for Women’s online resource centre has 3,000 daily users and makes around 500 daily connections to local services.
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Recognising abuse
It can sometimes be a challenge to even recognise behaviour as abuse, Ms McGrath said.
“Societies don’t yet 100% understand what domestic abuse is, which is completely understandable because the depictions that we get are usually about physical violence.
“It can be any behaviour that aims to withdraw the liberty of the victim.”
This can include economic, administrative or family court abuse (such as relating to custody battles), which can eventually lead to physical violence.
Many examples involve power imbalances between a French abuser and foreign-born victim.
“He’s mastered the language, he will know how the system works and he will maybe also have control over her residency status if she is visa dependent.”
The majority of abuse Women for Women sees takes place in the family courts – some 82% of domestic abuse happens to mothers – with “judges and lawyers being used as tools in the abuse”.
Economic abuse is another common tactic, in which the abuser deprives the victim of resources, making it difficult to leave. What begins as generosity – inviting a partner to come to France – may end up as social isolation, “making sure you do not have any network outside of them, the abuser”.
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Women for Women’s website has 90 guides on everything from how to log abuse to how to secure social housing, visas or financial aid.
One guide helps people understand if they are being abused. It asks if they agree with statements such as “since I’ve been with him, I’ve lost all confidence in myself” and “I feel like I am walking on eggshells a lot of the time”.
Focusing on how you feel, rather than trying to objectively analyse someone else’s behaviour, can be key to understanding if you are a victim of abuse, Ms McGrath said.
Language challenges
The French system is difficult enough to navigate for French women, but there are added challenges for foreign-born women who may not speak the language and have no family support nearby.
“It’s convoluted, we’ve got a justice system that drops the majority of complaints,” said Ms McGrath. “France is behind when it comes to domestic abuse compared to its European neighbours.”
Some 74-80% of domestic abuse cases are dropped by the state prosecutor.
Many forms of domestic abuse are centred around coercive control – a pattern of controlling or threatening behaviours used to make a partner dependent or restrict their freedom.
France does not yet have any laws against the practice, but Women for Women’s main policy priority, decided in consultation with domestic violence victims, is to criminalise coercive control.
This would be a “massive leap forward” according to Ms McGrath, helping to address issues including economic abuse.
Legislation to criminalise coercive control was passed by MPs in January 2025 and is now with the Senate, so could soon be passed into law.
And while France has been slow to take action on domestic abuse (England and Wales enacted coercive control laws in 2015), Ms McGrath has noticed a desire for change, especially in younger generations.
“There is a huge movement to change, especially from young women and young men. I’m really encouraged.”
Action on domestic abuse
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, a first step is to check Women for Women’s website (below), which includes practical guides and information on how to get help.
Ms McGrath also recommends the “amazing counsellors” at the helpline 3919, who can speak English, and are trained to help victims.
What if the victim is a friend or loved one? Knowing how to help can often be difficult.
“I think the best piece of advice that I can give anyone who has a loved one who is going through abuse is to make sure that you are leaving that door open to them, because an abuser will be trying to isolate them from you.”
Meanwhile, if a person wants to leave, safety planning is essential.
“When you are thinking of leaving or when the abuser thinks you are about to leave, is when you are at the most risk because it is when the abuser thinks they are losing control that they will escalate to more serious violence,” said Ms McGrath.
“If you are thinking of leaving, make sure the abuser doesn’t know that.”
Access Women for Women France’s resources, or make a donation, at womenforwomenfrance.org/en/
