When is a woman madame and when is she mademoiselle in France?

Reader Question: I am confused about what to call women I meet for the first time. If they are young, I tend to use mademoiselle, but do not want to cause offence. Is there a rule for when it changes?

As you mention, mademoiselle is usually used for a younger woman, and madame for someone who is older. 

The word mademoiselle has the same root as the English damsel and traditionally meant a young, usually unmarried woman. However, there is no hard and fast rule on when a woman in France becomes a madame.

As marriages now often take place at an older age than historically – and Pacs civil partnerships have become more common – marriage is not always an indicator of the changing title. 

This is also true for age, although it is roughly around the age of 30 when people will begin switching the title they use when talking to a woman they do not know.

Some feminist organisations have been pushing for mademoiselle to be phased out of conversation, as they deem it outdated and in some contexts consider that it can be seen as belittling – for example, if using it in a professional setting to assert authority over a woman.

There is no serious consequence for using the wrong title in everyday life other than a slight social faux pas that itself is just as likely to happen to a French person – older women may even be charmed if called mademoiselle.

Government uses ‘Madame’  

Notably, since 2012 the French government has not used mademoiselle in legal documentation, sticking with madame in all instances. 

The government also refers to a woman solely via her maiden name, even if she uses another name in daily life. 

Previously, the government would distinguish between nom d'épouse (married name) and nom de jeune fille (maiden name). Now, it just says madame + maiden name. 

Read more: ‘Madame’, ‘mademoiselle’: More than about marital status