Are these common stereotypes about the French true? 

There is an expression which goes: “Don’t compare a person’s outsides with your insides.” Never is this truer than with stereotypes – and we take a look at some of the more common ones about France.

The French are rude 

I can honestly say that I have never found the French to be rude. 

There are 65 million people in France and, of course, there are bound to be rude ones within that number. However, to say that all French people are difficult is doing them a great disservice. 

Perhaps cultural differences, language barriers, and where you actually live are relevant.

 But let us remember that certain personality traits are not just pertinent to French people. The key to good relations, no matter what nationality, is to be polite and respectful. 

They are romantic

One of my dreams was to marry a Frenchman. Being half French, perhaps I was unconsciously searching for the “missing” part of me. 

I never did marry one, but my romantic English third husband, Peter, is a Francophile. I am more than happy to settle for that. 

French people are seen as flirtatious partly because they enjoy the chase. This does not necessarily mean they are in search of a relationship or a one-night stand. 

Read more: Nine things people often overlook when they move to France

They enjoy the simple pleasures – family, friends, food, wine, and sex. Some are openly romantic and some are not. We are not privy to what goes on behind closed doors. You just cannot generalise. 

All Frenchmen are unfaithful

In Aziz Ansari's book on romance in the digital age, Modern Romance, the author discusses a 2014 study by the French Institute of Public Opinion, which found that 55% of Frenchmen and 32% of Frenchwomen had admitted to cheating on their spouse or significant other. 

My grandfather had une maîtresse for 25 years. It was the worst-kept family secret. He bought her an apartment, 50 metres from where he lived with my grandmother. When he died in 1966, his lover made a claim on his estate. She was awarded money “for over 25 years of faithful service” to my grandfather. 

Some may be serial cheaters and others remain forever faithful. French society does not judge this too much. It is seen as a private matter.

Read more: Seven tips to help you integrate in France

French bureaucracy is appalling

After my father died, we decided to bring his ashes to the family vault in Nice. 

I contacted the French embassy to ask about the formalities. I was asked to bring his urn to the French embassy and to pay £40. They also wanted a copy of his passport. My father had not been out of the UK for 25 years. 

When I informed them that his passport had expired, they were unhappy. I responded that I was unaware that a valid passport was required for entry to “The Other Side”, and asked if his urn would be confiscated on the grounds of being an “illegal alien”. 

In the end, Peter popped the urn into his rucksack and then into the overhead locker in the plane and no questions were asked.

French bureaucracy appears to be designed to employ the maximum number of people whose sole purpose is to keep requesting further paperwork. 

When I went to the mairie in Nice, I was told that my mother was not dead, because “they” had never been informed of her demise. Despite having departed five years previously, according to them Maman was still alive and kicking.

The French always kiss you on both cheeks

Faire la bise ou ne pas faire la bise? That is the question. 

Generally speaking, men and women kiss each other and women kiss other women. However, men of the same family or close male friends may also kiss each other. 

People kiss on the first introduction to a new person too. But if there is any reluctance or uncertainty, it is safer to shake hands – and definitely in a formal or work situation. 

Read more: Greeting kisses in France: 5 regional expressions

French women do not get fat

My French female cousins have stayed enviably slim all their lives and, infuriatingly, one of them can still get into the bridesmaid dress which she wore to my first wedding in 1978! 

Of course, not all are thin. French women have a mindset which helps them to keep their figures. If they overeat at one meal, then they will scale right down for the next. Generally, French women take care of themselves. We could all learn from them. 

Tips for counteracting stereotypes

• People are people wherever you are – keep an open mind

• If somebody is rude it says everything about them and nothing about you

• Focus on the many positives of living in France and not the negatives

• Stereotypes are not statement of facts 

• Do not let the opinions of others define your experiences

• Living abroad is an adventure – remain curious and see what you can learn from every experience and encounter.

Have you encountered some interesting stereotypes while living in France? If so, please email Cynthia at cynthia.spillman@connexionfrance.com, and share your insights.