Surprise, surprise: my arms are falling off

WHILE the cliché dictates that all French people react to news, be it mundane or shocking, with the same casual Gallic shrug, in fact the opposite is true – and there are many ways to express surprise in French. Here are some you may hear.

Les bras m’en tombent, which is best translated as ‘you could have knocked me down with a feather’, literally means ‘my arms are falling off in shock’.

Similar to this, but less polite, is ça m’a troué le cul, which literally means ‘it perforated my bum’. Equally racy is j’en suis tombé(e) sur le cul, meaning ‘I’m gobsmacked’, or literally, ‘I fell on my backside’.

Among the most popular uncensored expressions of surprise or horror in France are Mon Dieu! (‘Oh My God’) and putain!, which is the most commonly-used swear-word, and can cover an impressive range of reactions from surprise, shock and disappointment to awe and joy. It is not suitable for polite company. In text speak it can be abbreviated to ‘put1’ or ‘pt1’. It literally means ‘prostitute’.

Zut! is the shortened version of zut alors, meaning ‘damn’, while ça m’étonne means ‘I’m astonished’. Incroyable! means ‘Unbelievable’ and yes, people actually do still say Oh là là!

Tiens! is a gentle expression meaning something like ‘well how about that!’ (other polite expressions include flute! and mince!, which roughly mean ‘crumbs!’ and ‘drat it!’)

Disbelief can be expressed with c’est pas possible! (It’s impossible!) and c’est pas vrai! (It can’t be true!).

And one not to use… sacré bleu! This expression became known through the Tintin comics and Agatha Christie’s Poirot, and was picked up by the British media. However, no-one actually uses it in France any more. It literally means ‘sacred blue’, with the word blue being used to replace dieu (God) in an effort to avoid blasphemy. It was once considered offensive, but its modern English equivalent would be something like ‘Oh my goodness’ or ‘golly gosh’.