Parents fail with excuse notes

PARENTS never fail to astonish Orleans school principal Patrice Romain who has collected some of the daftest letters they have written to him for a new book.

‘It wasn’t my fault’ was one woman’s tactic as she said: “please excuse Thomas’ lateness, but yesterday it was my husband who took him to school and he got lost.”

Some blame the teacher: “I am not a teacher; it’s up to you to find the way to get Germain to do his homework.”

Or the cat: “Boris was not at school on Tuesday because he tripped over the cat’s tail. He fell and he was badly scratched. So, we had to go to the vets and the doctor’s. Nothing serious, however, they are friends again.”

They try logic: “My son Thibaud was absent today because he wasn’t there.”

And some just fail to get the point: “Francois was not a school on Friday because we had to cross the Loire; so we bridged the weekend [took Friday off as a holiday]”

The strange notes are not confined to excuses as one parent revealed too much: “I no longer want my daughter to play with Stéphanie as my husband, soon to be ex-husband, has gone off with her mother.”

And others have their own complaints to get off their chests: “Sir, do I have to pay a supplement for the extra protein or is the slug that my son found in his salad included in the price?”

“Since Théophile developed sinus problems his school friends have nothing better to do that to call him Darth Vader. Please stop them mocking him, thank you.”

One parent pointedly made their point: “Sir, just some words to brighten your day: the person who you cut up at the junction yesterday morning and to whom you happily gave the finger, was me! With all due respect...”

Some make two points at the same time: “Madam, if it’s true what people say about your relations with the mayor, could you get something done about the pothole in front of my house. Thanks.”

• Nouveaux Mots d’Excuse - Les Parents Ecrivent Encore aux Enseignants by Patrice Romain - Editions François Bourin
Photo: Fotolia Chlorophylle