How to fit in when you move to France: avoid that ‘expat bubble’

Jill Fitzgerald-O'Connor, 81, originally from West Sussex, moved to central Brittany in 2002.

“I came to France, like so many English people, because of the house prices,” she says. 

“I am much better off in France. I can live very modestly – I don’t have any rent or mortgage to pay because I was able to buy the house outright.” 

Her love of France was sparked by learning French at school, then working in the fashion industry. 

“If you’re interested in fashion, you’re interested in France,” she says. 

She has now written a book to recount her time in France and share tips for how best to integrate. 

While learning the language is essential, it is the everyday French of your friends and neighbours that will be the most useful, she explains.

“There are two types of French – the French that you learn if you go to French lessons, and the French that you learn if you are at a table for five hours with your neighbours. 

“You have to be able to talk and you very quickly get the gist of what people are saying.” 

Looking up a few key phrases such as ‘how do you say…’ or ‘what is…’ can help build vocabulary, she advises.

“That is the key – to all the time be building vocabulary. Don’t worry about the grammar!” 

Another way to learn how people really speak is by soaking up French media. 

Jill listens to France Inter radio, which she likens to BBC Radio 4. 

“One of the best tips is to listen to the radio – you are hearing not just the way the words are pronounced, but the current vocabulary.”

Listening is crucial, she says, even if you already know some French.

“That’s probably the most important thing for anybody here – to listen to the neighbours talking, to get a feel for the sound of the language, even before you start to know the words.”

When you first arrive in France, make an effort to “surround yourself” with French, Jill says. 

One way to do this is by volunteering. Jill currently helps out in her local épicerie, which is run as an association. 

“I’m constantly speaking French,” she says, “people come in and ask for things.” 

Another way to integrate is to join a local club. 

“There is an enormous sense of community and of activities that are all happening locally and that helps situate you in the place.”

Jill joined an embroidery group shortly after moving to France, and found it helped improve her language skills.

“It’s really good because you are focused on doing something, and so you have questions to ask about what you’re doing, you’re comparing things, you’re finding the different words.” 

A common mistake she sees newcomers make is sticking together in an expat bubble, and something as simple as body language can show how open you are to new friendships and conversation.

“If your body language is fairly open then people are likely to talk to you, whereas if you sit back with your arms folded they’re not going to say anything.” 

In Jill’s experience, most French people want to communicate and chat, and are keen to learn more about their new neighbours. So people should be confident, and learn to shake off their self-consciousness. 

“Don’t be afraid of making a fool of yourself,” Jill says. “Communication is key.”

Talking of confidence, these days Jill is well known in her village for her unusual mode of transport. 

“It’s quite hilarious, I have a certain infamy – I gave up my car about a year ago, so I bought this wonderful tricycle with electrical assistance and it’s bright blue. I zip around on it everywhere.” 

A House in Brittany by Jill Fitzgerald-O'Connor is available on Amazon.