Build a pond in a weekend? No way

YOUR gardening article (Connexion 2, March) says building a pond is an ideal job for a spring weekend. You’ll be lucky.

First of all you may have to go the mairie to get a permit. Failing that you will at least have to check with your closest neighbours that the sound of running water will not disturb their midday meal. That done, you can start to dig your pond.

However, within the hour a number of your neighbours will be looking over the fence to see what you are doing. Some will wander on to your land to get a closer look. Coffee and biscuits will need to be served.

Before you know it, it’s midday and time to knock off and go round to one of the interested neighbours for lunch. In the afternoon you’re not quite in the mood for digging and anyway you have to be ready to go to one of the other voisins for apéritifs at six.

Digging resumes Sunday morning when you realise you forgot to buy the liner. No problem, jump in the car to buy one. Not in Chamonix. The best trading day of the week and all the garden centres are closed.

Plant a plum tree in the hole instead. When it matures you can harvest the fruit in October and, for a few euros, you can make litres of 48%-proof eau de vie.

Keith WALKER, by email