From 'romantic Paris' to dating apps: love is changing in France

France has long enjoyed a reputation as one of the world’s most romantic countries. Its capital is known as the City of Love, its accent frequently voted one of the sexiest, and it has inspired countless amorous novels, films and TV shows.

But as attitudes to relationships change, marriage figures decline and dating app usage soars, has ‘romantic France’ become more myth than reality?

“Of course it’s a myth, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist and doesn’t influence the way people experience love in France,” said Aziliz Kondracki, a doctoral researcher in social sciences with the CNRS (French National Centre for Scientific Research) and EHESS (School for Advanced Studies in the Social Sciences).

“It is fed by the mass media,” she says, citing the hit Netflix series Emily in Paris as an example.

“It centres on the idea of Paris being an inherently romantic city. We have this American girl meeting a lot of gorgeous men. But that’s not the way I experience Paris – there are beautiful men but I don’t meet them in every episode of my own life!”

She is not alone. Recent studies have found people experience love in a more “pragmatic and realistic” way, says Ms Kondracki.

Sociologist Marie Bergström found sex and relationships are particularly changing among young people in France. Using data from interviews with more than 31,000 people aged 15-89 between 2019 and 2023, Dr Bergström highlights that more than a quarter of 18-29-year-olds reported having no partnered sex at all, five times more than in 2006. 

This can be attributed to the fact there are more single people having less regular sex, but also more sexual partners in nontraditional relationships, from friends with benefits to one-night stands. 

Separate research shows young people today have had more sexual partners than previous generations at the same age, especially young women. 

“We only had one model before – the white wedding and marriage and family – and now we have many,” says Ms Kondracki. 

“The myth gives a very standardised idea of how people experience love in France. This is very different from reality, which is much more diverse.”

However, it does not mean that romance is dead. “We shouldn’t be thinking about realistic or romantic love as opposites; people can experience love in a realistic way and still have romance sometimes.” 

Indeed, keeping romance alive makes important economic sense for France.

Around 36,000 people visit Paris every year specifically to propose, according to the website Proposal Paris, which offers tailored packages for the ‘perfect’ engagement. It saw a 30% rise in the number of requests it received between 2021 and 2023.

“This myth is something that is used and reused for economic purposes; we know it brings a lot of tourism,” says Ms Kondracki.

It is also bolstered by international media, as she has found through her analysis of dating shows, including another Netflix hit: Love is Blind France.

“This is a good example of how they capitalised on the idea of France being a romantic country. They chose very beautiful people, who only live in beautiful, clean districts of Paris with picturesque old buildings.” 

The irony is that the series was “a huge failure” romance-wise, with no couple staying together.

Afterwards, the contestants themselves skewered the romantic myth producers had helped construct. One woman was portrayed as a bourgeois Parisian girl who loved luxury. She was matched with a man who allegedly had his own architecture company. 

After the series aired, it transpired the woman was actually unemployed and struggling financially, while the man was a carpenter, not an architect.

What makes programmes like Love is Blind France and Emily in Paris possible, says Ms Kondracki, is that they are broadcast globally, feeding the image of ‘romantic Paris’ to the world. 

“I am sure that if a French producer made a series called Emily in Paris for a French audience, the storyline would have been quite different. It might have been more ironic, turning love into something more realistic.” 

The rise of romance scams in France

Reports of romance scams (escroqueries sentimentales) increased by around 6% in 2024 compared with the previous year, according to French cybercrime authorities.

Victims number "at least in the thousands," Matthieu Rousseau, from the interior ministry's cyber command (COMCYBER-MI), told Le Monde, though precise figures are not available. 

Fraudsters use stolen identities, AI-enhanced videos and fabricated backstories to cultivate trust over weeks or months before demanding money via bank transfers, gift cards or cryptocurrency. 

One of the most widely publicised cases in France concerned a 53-year-old interior designer who was scammed out of €830,000 after believing she was in a romantic relationship with the Hollywood actor Brad Pitt.