How to become just as chic as your French friends

Dear Cynth,

I am almost ashamed to write about this, but whenever I meet up with my French friends I feel hideously dowdy. They are all so chic and well-groomed. I am sure they spend a fortune on clothes and make-up and, as a widow, I certainly lack the money to do that. But even if I had the means, I would not have a clue as to how to improve the way I look. I feel as if I resemble somebody’s decrepit great-granny, rather than a fit, active 56-year-old. Could you please give me some pointers?

Ah! The French je ne sais quoi rears its infuriating head again. 

I am certain you don’t look as ancient and terrible as you believe. Comparisons are never helpful anyway. 

French style is like learning a language – it takes time and effort. 

You are not dowdy – you are merely on a steep learning curve. You are you: unique and special. Stop berating yourself and start taking action. 

Approach one of the ladies whose style you admire and ask her for help and advice. Be honest and tell her how you feel. You will certainly find that it is not effortless at all and that she has put thought, time and work into her “look”. 

Any woman would be flattered to be told she looks attractive, so do not let your fear or ego hold you back. 

Look online and in magazines at French fashion. It is not about novelty, but more about having quality basics, upon which to build a new wardrobe. 

You do not have to do this all at once. Buy one new item at a time and try it out. 

It does not have to cost a fortune. Seek out charity shops. Have a look on eBay and Vinted France. 

I was lucky enough to be brought up by a chic French mother who was able to sniff out designer items like a homing pigeon in a sea of charity shop rubbish. 

Like anything, it is a skill that can be learned at any age, with motivation and determination. 

You could also consider treating yourself to a session with a good hairdresser. 

Nobody is suggesting that you start sporting a mini skirt or dye your hair bright red. In the end, confidence is your very best accessory. The most stylish thing you can wear is comfort in your own skin. Practise and then practise again. There is no right or wrong in self-reinvention. 

Embrace the transition to the new you and, in the meantime, do not deprive the world of your sparkle!