Are children living outside of France obliged to look after their parents?

Reader Question: My husband has died and I will be moving into a care home, but my pension will not cover these costs. I have heard about obligation alimentaire but do not know if it applies to me, because all of my children still live in the UK.

France has a series of rules known as obligation alimentaire. 

For parents, this is the obligation to ensure their children are adequately provided for and that parental assistance continues (within reason) into adulthood. 

However, the rule also exists in reverse – children are required to offer financial support to parents if needed.

This often comes in the form of a financial top-up for older people in care homes, where their pensions are insufficient to cover the costs, but can also be used for covering necessary daily living expenses such as food.

There is no legally defined limit to the obligation, and it is based on the resources of both donor and recipient (in both cases). 

The obligation also extends to in-laws (both parents and children). 

When it comes to children providing aid for parents, this obligation only comes into play if the parent is in financial need with regard to providing for themselves for daily essentials, however this can include meeting care home fees. 

Note however, that if you cannot entirely pay for the fees from your own income sources, you may also be entitled to certain state benefits, including allocation personnalisée d’autonomie (which can help pay for the ‘autonomy’ part of fees) and aide sociale which can help towards the accommodation part.

Such aid is means-tested, but, especially for the latter, councils often do expect that you have asked any adult children if they can also help (if the person has a spouse they are also expected to contribute, without leaving themselves too little to get by).

There are no specific exceptions for children that live abroad – they are also asked to provide assistance when necessary and assuming that doing so will not cause them financial hardship in turn. 

Agreements are often voluntary and amounts are usually decided privately between parent and child. If either party wishes, this can be confirmed via a letter or family mediator, and it is possible to have the agreement made legally binding by a family judge (juge aux affaires familiales).

In cases where a child refuses to pay or stops paying aid, parents can apply to a family judge, either using this form or a direct summons. The judge can then lay out a legally-binding agreement, even in the child’s absence. 

Care homes and other public institutions can also demand payments from children of residents if there are debts. They must first reach out to surviving spouses, then children, then children-in-law.

The Connexion covered a case in 2022 where a UK resident was hit with a €50,000 bill for her father’s care in France despite not seeing him in over 50 years. 

The main ways in which children can be relieved of these obligations is if their own resources are shown to be inadequate, or they are able to prove their parents neglected to adequately provide them with assistance when they were young. 

In the case of the former, this would automatically be assessed by a judge during a case, but the latter must be specifically notified (eg. by the children). Proof that the parent did not adequately provide for the child could be made through witness statements, other court reports, social services documents, etc.

If a parent has previously had their parental authority revoked for a previous offence, children are automatically excluded from the obligation. 

While many children will agree to help, issues can arise if they refuse. 

Retired British solicitor and honorary avocat Gérard Barron previously told The Connexion that while the obligation alimentaire does leave children in the UK liable, if there was a French judgement demanding payment, and any appeals against it by the child/ren failed, it could become necessary for the care home or local council to apply to the UK courts for enforcement.

However, he said it is uncertain if UK courts would enforce a French judgement on this, especially since Brexit stopped reciprocal recognition of judgements.

In short, you should ask your children to help, explaining that this is expected in French law.

Hopefully, they will do so without further complication, if able to do so, but if they refuse and you are left unable to pay, it is likely French benefits will still help towards your bills.

Note that aide sociale received from the council due to low income can be recuperated from your estate after you die.