Dangerous liaisons: how to avoid misunderstandings in French speech

There are subtle differences between elisions and liaisons, but they are closely related in terms of pronunciation. 

The former are often indicated by the insertion of an apostrophe: J’ai l’ami qu’il me faut. In each of these cases, the ‘e’ is correctly elided three times because the following word starts with a vowel. 

Informal speech, when represented in writing or print, is littered with apostrophes: I’s’fout de ma gueule, mais j’m’en fous de c’qu’i’pense. 

The famous opening word of Raymond Queneau’s 'Zazie dans le Métro', Doukipudonktan dispenses with apostrophes entirely and can be understood only when pronounced: D’où qu’il pue donc tant? 

Well before that was published, in 1959, my French teacher had urged us to remember the Russian general Keski when we needed to translate a question beginning ‘What…’: Qu’est-ce qui…

As to linguistic liaisons, they do not involve apostrophes and can be silent or not according to the situation: the written form is no help in this respect. 

In A quelle heure arrive le train? the liaisons are not heard; the question runs seamlessly: ‘akelleurarreev’. 

On the other hand, if you do not make the appropriate liaison, it can lead to incomprehension or misunderstanding. The exclamation Quelles horreurs mes amis! has the intervocalic ‘z’ twice. 

As to liaisons interdites, the intermediate ‘s’ is also a ‘z’ sound. 

But such liaisons are a different affair, forbidden on moral grounds, and the source of another faux ami. Il a une affaire means ‘he has his own business’; if il a une liaison, it’s something on the side.